Saturday 11th of February 2017 06:42:44 PM

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Traveling across the United States in the winter of 2016, wife Persimmon and I found ourselves heading up the California coastline on old Highway 1, hugging the water and marveling at the scenery.

We had thought one of our stops would be Bodega Bay, site of Hitchcock's "The Birds" but apparently, after Hitchcock left, the Bodega Bay-ers were left with nothing to stimulate the economy...until some wise capitalist thought; "Hmmm....a movie location. We can milk that for some dough"...and indeed they do.

Consequently, there were rooms at the "Bay" but no birds and, as far as we were concerned, no takers.

So we ambled 15 minutes up into the mountains and found Guerneville, where the rooms were cheaper...the atmosphere idyllic and the beer....oh. Well. Yeah. The beer.

About that.

There exists some delightful...why even outstanding...breweries and brewpubs and brewers and beers in Northern California...but not in Guerneville.

Stumptown is small, minuscule really. Sitting on the main road...the only road...through town, it offers up 4 of its own brews and a half dozen guest taps.

Whenever we stumble into a brewery, we survey the tap list and determine what we'd like to sample. Brewers -- well most brewers -- know that they lose nothing by giving out as many samples as needed to entice the customer to stay and have a pint. Since it costs approximately $1 to brew a pint and most are now charging $6 to $8 for said beer, their profit margin is huge. To give out free samples to a potential buyer costs them literally nothing.

But at Stumptown, apparently they know something no other brewer does...because, asking for said samples, I was told: "We're not allowed to give out samples of guest beers."

"Really?"

"Yep."

"Well how will I know what beer to order if I don't know how it tastes?"

"Guess you have to order a pint?"

"Nope. Guess not."

And that was our experience at Stumptown Brewing.

In order to spend my hard earned $5 dollars, I insist on knowing what I'm getting...and I guess, in a way, I did...didn't I?

And I guess the folks who live in the area know as well...but then Stumptown has a vice grip on beer lovers. The closest other brewery is down the mountain in Santa Rosa 25 miles away.

In the almost 10 years we've been on our beer-quest, one...and only one...brewery has ever refused our request for a sample and to take a few photos.

So if you're looking for a beer in Guerneville, don't bother. Wait a day.

There are plenty other breweries and brewpubs along the way...with better service...and I suspect, infinitely better beer.