Monday 5th of October 2009 10:51:07 AM

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Yes yes: it's the usual corporate claptrap that you'd expect at the transnational's flagship visitors' centre: the Heineken family presented as Dutch national heroes, and the overall wonderfulness of their brand and branding. All, oddly enough, in English.

But a couple of things are worthy of note, through the fug of corporate brainwash. The centre of the attraction is the defunct brewing hall with its dormant copper kettles. Dwarfed by the macrobrew machinery deemed not-macro-enough there's a chap making beer in what's essentially a fancypants homebrew kit. This is what lets Heineken claim on their labels that they still have a brewery in Amsterdam. I'm told the finished beer -- a tripel, since he lacks any temperature control gear -- is occasionally available in the giftshop, but I didn't see any on my visit.

Secondly there's the tutored tasting, where a barman serves a sample of Heineken lager and takes you through the different flavours (while slagging off ale as intrinsically inferior to lager). What he pours, however, is not Heineken. Or else it's Heineken with an extra dash of hop extract or similar enhancer. Because it tastes nice. For a few minutes I thought there might have been something to the notion that Heineken tastes better in Amsterdam. But when I got to the tasting bar at the end of the tour the difference was quite apparent -- ordinary, vapid tasteless Heineken on tap.

Is it worth the €15? No, not really. But if you're hungover and bored it's something to do.